I tried to fit you in the walls inside my mind
I try to keep you safely in between the lines
I try to put you in the box that I’ve designed
I try to pull you down so we are eye to eye

Just a whisper of your voice can tame the seas
So who am I to try to take the lead
Still I run ahead and think I’m strong enough
When you’re the one who made me from the dust

When did I forget that you’ve always been the king of the world?
I try to take life back right out of the hands of the king of the world
How could I make you so small
When you’re the one who holds it all
When did I forget that you’ve always been the king of the world?

Every time I hear this song, I feel openly rebuked by the lyrics because it is so true of me. For those who know me, you know I am a planner. I have backup plans for my backup plans and in every situation, I try to be in control and take charge. Very few people have ever seen me lose control,  or even lose my temper (you do not want to poke that beast though…!) This sunday in church, I was humbled by the sermon that spoke to how 3 groups of people in Mark’s account of the gospel responded to Jesus and I found myself right smack  and sitting pretty in one group. For context, the account is taken from  Mark 3: 20-34. The three groups of people identified are the family of Jesus, the Teachers of the Law, and the disciples that sit around Jesus’s feet. The group I identify with is the family of Jesus so let’s take a look at them, shall we?

Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered so that he and his disciples were not even able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him, for they said, “He is out of his mind.” Mark 3:20-21 NIV

Many times, I’m like the family of Jesus. I have heard and read about the miracles and the awesome power of God at work in the lives of the ancients and believers today. I pray for others to see and experience God in wonderful and miraculous ways, but when it comes to my own life…it’s a different story! I need to take charge! I trust God to do X, Y, and Z but I make my own plans in case God does not pull through or He takes too long. My commitment sometimes is half-hearted. With my mouth, I say, “yes Lord I trust you completely!” But in my heart, I am like “Okay so how am I going to deal with this!”

I find myself at an impasse.  I realize that I cannot call Jesus the Lord of my life when I am unprepared to relinquish the reins. For someone who is always in control that’s hard. But more than being in control, I sincerely want to please God and so with this post, I remind myself that GOD IS, HAS ALWAYS BEEN, AND WILL ALWAYS BE the King of the world.  I want to go all in with God and let Him have His way. Today I chose to believe fully and utterly “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) and I give back the areas of my life that I control right back to the King of the World!

Shout out to Pastor Kirk Cowman!

Yours Truly.