Why am I here?

In my last post, I spoke about the call of eternity in our heart and today I am going to linger in the same theme. If while on earth we are hearing the call of our home in eternity, then “why are we here?” That, my friends, is the million dollar question and I attempt an answer. Last week, I read a book by James Robbins titled The Call to Climb: A Story to Find Your Path, Conquer Your Fears, and Fulfill your Destiny, where he attempts to answer the same question. The insights gained from this book inspired this post.

In his book, James opines that your soul knows why you are here. He describes the soul thus:

“your soul has been with you since the day you were born. It’s the deepest, most authentic part of you- your true self, the part that knows the real reason why you’re here… (p. 21). Imagine you’re driving a car down the road of life, but your soul knows a better path- one that’s designed just for you. So it begins to pull the steering wheel slightly to one side. But instead of following it, you fight with the wheel and pull the car back in line” (p. 23).

Each of us were born with an imprint of eternity in us, in our DNA, and it comes from our Creator. It is an ancient path that pull us towards why we are here, our purpose on earth. And time and again, we get caught up in life’s busyness and forget to listen to the call of this path, which leads to unrest in our souls. We toil and toil, and yet at the end of the day, our toil does not make us feel fulfilled. If you are resonating with this then you can appreciate that feeling that your life is shallow, that it is missing something deeper and more meaningful. This is the feeling of living life out of alignment with the soul’s purpose. Now let’s look at a popular story in the scriptures to unpack this. Let’s read Luke 5:1-11:

1On one occasion, while Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret with the crowd pressing in on Him to hear the word of God, 2He saw two boats at the edge of the lake. The fishermen had left them and were washing their nets. 3Jesus got into the boat belonging to Simon and asked him to put out a little from shore. And sitting down, He taught the people from the boat. 4When Jesus had finished speaking, He said to Simon, “Put out into deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” 5“Master,” Simon replied, “we have worked hard all night without catching anything. But because You say so, I will let down the nets.” 6When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to tear. 7So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. 8When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’ knees. “Go away from me, Lord,” he said, “for I am a sinful man.” 9For he and his companions were astonished at the catch of fish they had taken, 10and so were his partners James and John, the sons of Zebedee. “Do not be afraid,” Jesus said to Simon. “From now on you will catch men.” 11And when they had brought their boats ashore, they left everything and followed Him.

Let us start with a focus on verses 4 and 5. Simon was a fisherman who in this point in the story had toiled all night and had come up empty. Even though he was going about his everyday life activity, his net was empty: he was unfulfilled, he was not feeling accomplished, something was definitely missing. Then Jesus said to him, “put out into deep water” to which Simon responds, “Because you say so, I will…”

For many of us, that emptiness is because we are living life on the shallow side. Our souls call for something deeper. God is calling us to step into the deeper side of life: to live more authentically, to stop seeking the approval of others, to embrace our identity as sons and daughters of God, to stop living in the shadows of our fears or our guilt and shame for actions of the past. God is calling us to the deeper life but because we choose the shallower things of life: instant gratification, self-loathing and self-deprecation, a life controlled by our fears and limitations, a life rife with the should’a, could’a, would’a and regrets, our nets turn up empty over and over again. Even with the accomplishments we have (material, financial, status, etc.) our souls remain unfulfilled. The psalmist experienced the same thing. He felt the despair of his soul and confessed, “Deep calls to deep in the roar of Your waterfalls; all Your breakers and waves have rolled over me” (Psalm 42: 6-7).

For others, our souls are coming up empty not because we are not hearing the call, but because we have refused to listen and obey the voice that calls us to go deeper. I started by saying that we all have an imprint of eternity within us. Our souls, understand the ancient path because our essence is from of old…from the Ancient of Days. And if our lives are even slightly misaligned to the purpose of God for our lives, we feel it deep within. We feel the nudges and tugs of our soul alerting us to this misalignment just as one would feel the steering wheel in a car tug to one side when the wheel alignment is off. God calls our attention to the dearth in our souls in many ways, in scripture, through our quiet times with Him, through the counsel of people, and sometimes through physical symptoms like stress, anxiety, or depression- symptoms we cannot ignore. And until we, like Simon can say, “because you say so, I will…” we won’t experience the peace our souls so desperately craves when it is in alignment with the Holy One.

This is what the LORD says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’

Jeremiah 6:16 NLT

The day we were born, we were imprinted with the mark of our Creator, who breathed his life into us to make us living souls (Genesis 2:7). Job 32: 8 tells us, “But there is a spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding” (BSB). That which the soul seeks, the ancient path, also known as the good way or the godly path, can only be revealed by God’s Spirit.

But God has revealed it to us by the Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who among men knows the thoughts of man except his own spirit within him? So too, no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. We have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us.

1 Corinthians 2:10-12 BSB

To know what the soul needs, to answer the question of why we are here, we need to listen and obey the voice of God that says, “put out into the deep water.” And friends let me tell what you will find at the end of that obedience. Like Simon, you will see where the emptiness in your soul stems from. In verse 9 of the scripture we we looking at, Simon discovers the source of the emptiness in his soul and says, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Sin was the limitation on fulfilling his purpose which was to be a fisher of men (verse 10). For some of us, sin is the problem we need to confront. For others, it may be guilt, shame, fear- of disappointment, of starting afresh, of failure, of not receiving the approval of others, low self-worth, etc. Whatever the limitation is, God’s spirit will reveal it to us in the place of obedience.

So back to the question, “why are you here?” Well, the answer is simple: Only God knows! But He lets you in on this secrets through out your lifetime. His Spirit, at work in your soul, reveals to you your life’s purpose if only you will listen and obey the call of the deep, the ancient godly path, the imprint of our DNA to be the full expression of God on earth. You were created in the image of God to live in the character and expression of the God that created you and your soul knows this fully well. Will you listen to the nudges of your soul? Let this scripture wash over you:

Where can I go to escape Your Spirit? Where can I flee from Your presence?… For You formed my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and [my soul] know this very well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all my days were written in Your book and ordained for me before one of them came to be.

Psalm 132: 7, 13-16 BSB

Yours Truly

Hello 2025: Walking in Purpose

Have you ever met a young couple who almost immediately after getting married think they are sages on everything about marriage? This is actually one of my pet-peeves. For the longest time, I have believed that young married couples (myself included) are inexperienced and have nothing to offer when it comes to giving marriage advice. Similarly, I have applied this principle to many aspects of my life. Sometimes, I have shied away from certain opportunities because I feel I am not old enough or experienced enough.

This weekend, I read a children’s mystery story, the Jones & Parker Case Files. The story of sealed safe really inspired me to think differently about my giftings and abilities in relation to my age. In the story, Emily Jones and Matthew Parker are kid detectives who help Dr. Graham solve the mystery of the missing codes to get into a safe. As the case unfolds, Dr. Graham, says, “I shouldn’t have doubted you just because you are young.” The story ends with this scripture from 1 Timothy 4:12:

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity (NIV)

This is one of Paul’s many words of advice to young Timothy: Do not let anyone think less of you because you are young. He further encourages, even though you may be young and inexperienced, you can still be an example in the way you talk and behave, in how you love, exercise your faith, and demonstrate purity. This verse prompted me to examine areas in my life. I realized that I have disqualified myself because of my own perceptions. My internal dialogue has contributed to this disqualification. There are two pieces of encouragement I have gleaned from this scripture which I share with you:

  1. In this new year, I know that there are great plans that God has in store for each of us. Many of these plans may require putting yourself out there. You might need to tread in unfamiliar territories. I want to encourage you to not disqualify yourself even before the race has started. Do not look down on your abilities by letting your inadequacies be louder. Seek to live in the reality of all that God has in store for you. Do not let the voices of naysayers or your self-doubt be louder than God’s purpose for your life.
  2. Set an example for others by how you live this year. Whether it is in what you say, what you do, or how you go about your daily practices of life, be an example to others both old and young. What ever you do, do it well, in such a way that people will want to exemplify you in those aspects. When we think of our heroes and people we admire, our minds don’t go to their shortcomings. Rather, we picture the things about them that we love. We think about aspects we might want to emulate. Or, we remember what endears them to us. One of the ways we are able to rise above the voices of nay-sayers, our inadequacies, fears, and self-doubt, is to live a life worthy of emulation. When you do, there will be very little reason for people to look down on you.

As we start this year, my prayer for you is that God will lead you to places and spaces in your life you could have never imagined. May God give you vision to dream beyond your current abilities. May God increase your faith to anticipate the greatness He has in store for you. And may God hasten the day when your faith is sight! Welcome to 2025.

Yours truly.

Hope in the midst of hopelessness

For the past 5 years, I have been sharing bits and pieces of my life with you and some of you have come to know me a little through my posts if you did not know me before. So for those of you who have never met me, I am really smart… I am talking high IQ, straight As, top-of-my-class smart but underneath all of that smart is someone who has a lot of anxiety.

Since my childhood, I have harbored irrational fears and worries and I have carried these on into my adult years. Because I have a high IQ, I have found ways to cope which have made me very high functioning- so while others with the same disorder might be crippled with fear, for me anxiety shows up as thinking ahead through multiple scenarios and having backup plans for my back up plans. I am very strategic in my thinking, I am always prepared, I always bring my A-game, and I push the limits of excellence in every thing I do. This is what the world sees. What people do not see is the crippling fear that drives everything I do- fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of death, etc. and the associated anxiety that accompanies all those fears. Occasionally, I have the perfect storm in my life where it all gets too overwhelming for me and I would be in an internal state of despair and hopelessness even if I am functioning normally on the outside- a perfect example would be this very moment as I compose this blog albeit so eloquently and yet internally I am in a state of hopelessness.

Too many things beyond my control came at me so fast this week, my usual mechanism of being able to adapt with a backup plan failed and left me feeling helpless and hopeless. Today, I tried journaling to channel some of the thoughts running through my head at a mile a minute and when my writing could not keep up with my thoughts I just gave it up. In my despair, I picked up my bible and my readings took me to Isaiah 40 and verses 30 and 31 just leapt off the page at me:

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:30-31 NIV

Feeling hopeless and mentally drained, I saw the promise of strength in that scripture. But the promise comes with a caveat- to hope in the Lord. Huh? I am feeling hopeless and in order to get out of this state, I need to hope? If only it were that easy! So I asked God, I said “Well so what do I need to do to hope in you?” and as I waited impatiently for a response, the answer that came was definitely not what I was expecting. It was something like this:

A lot of times when we pray for or wish for something, we envision a certain outcome and we build our hopes and expectations around that outcome. For example when we pray to God for healing, our hope is built around the outcome that we would be healed and if we are healed then we are pleased that our “expectations have not been cut short”. But if the outcome is different from what we expect, we are disappointed and blame God, blame ourselves for not having faith enough or accept the outcome as something that should not be questioned or we blame others. The problem with this premise of hope is that hope is not predicated on outcomes. Hope is rooted in God, to be more specific in the unchangeable nature of God’s purpose. It is in God’s purpose for our lives that we find hope.

In the same way God, in His desire to show to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable nature of His purpose, intervened and guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things [His promise and His oath] in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled [to Him] for refuge would have strong encouragement  and indwelling strength to hold tightly to the hope set before us. This hope [this confident assurance] we have as an anchor of the soul [it cannot slip and it cannot break down under whatever pressure bears upon it]–a safe and steadfast hope that enters within the veil [of the heavenly temple, that most Holy Place in which the very presence of God dwells], where Jesus has entered [in advance] as a forerunner for us, having become a High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek. Hebrews 6:17-20 AMP

Hope that is built on an expected outcome is not safe and steadfast hope because our desired outcomes may not always be God’s purpose for us which does not fail (Psalm 119:89). So for me to come back to a place of strong encouragement, indwelling strength and confident assurance on days like this, I need to simply trust that He is working everything out to fulfil His purpose for me regardless of my desired outcome. This is what it means to me to hope in the Lord (or wait on the Lord as some translations put it). And as I hope in God, He will restore my strength and transport me from the place of despair and hopelessness as He is doing now.

I leave you with this scripture as my prayer to God:

The LORD will work out his plans for my life [fulfill his purpose for me]— for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.

Psalm 138: 8 NLT/ESV

Yours Truly

I’ve Found It!

2020 has been a very strange year and I have had countless conversations about the meaning of life in light of year. A few days ago, my husband and I were chatting along these lines and we landed on a topic that gave me pause: finding one’s purpose in life.

There are some people who readily know the answer to this question and others who will never answer this question for themselves in their lifetime. Understanding your purpose, knowing your why (why do you exist) helps to make meaning of and give meaning to our hopes, dreams, aspirations, motives, motivations. It propels us towards the future that God envisions for us (…Oh this bring me back to my post from February…Your future is within you). God speaks our future into being… then creates us… and knowing our purpose helps us to walk the path to our expected end.

Michael jr., a Christian comedian, does a great job of talking about knowing your why (And this is an aside… my husband and I became a running joke on his recent live comedy show). Here is a clip about knowing your why:

Still deeply contemplating my purpose, I read a scripture that revealed my why to me as clear as day:

For I am [emphasis mine] God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for me to do. Ephesians 2:10 NIV

What an eye opener! After all these many years of living (…and this is my Jesus year…) I have found it! I have read this scripture many times but I had never connected to it this way until I approached God and asked for him to show me my why. But now it does not end here. This is just the beginning. Its time to figure out my what? who ? how? when?

I started by saying 2020 has been a strange year. It has had its up and downs but this year has blessed me with this great gift of discovering my why. I leave you with this thought and something to prayerfully consider as we draw the curtains on 2020:

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” 

Mark Twain

Yours Truly