Posted on by intentional4christ

My confessions: Anger

Sometime in 2021, I started to notice little things that annoyed me greatly.  Slowly, these things built up and I became indignant… and then angry. For the past two years, my anger has felt justified… Of course, I have been wronged by so and so person… how inconsiderate of them! For a period of time, I was even angry at God! But while I have  been harbouring and  justifying my anger for these many months, it has become like a canker that has eaten away at my peace of mind and has made it difficult for me to realize God’s purpose in my life.

For the past few months, I have been praying  and asking God to help me find my way back and a few days ago, I had a dream. In the dream, I saw someone I have been upset at for almost a year, who looked at me  in the eye and asked, “why are you so angry at me?” I thought hard and long and realized I was unsure of exactly what I was mad at. When I  woke up, I asked God (well if I am honest, I was probably just asking myself) to show me why I was so angry. And to my surprise God answered and this is what He told me:

Anger is a seed that grows and becomes a deciduous tree. It forms deep roots in the heart of a person and with each anger-inducing incident, the roots get deeper and then it starts to bear fruits. The fruits include resentment, malice, hatred, depression, anxiety, rage, and murder.  To illustrate, God reminded me of the story of the impure spirit in Matthew 12: 44-45 that finds a conducive environment and brings seven other spirits more wicked than itself to come and occupy, making the final condition of the person worse than the first… anger works just like that. It starts as something small but if left unchecked, will slowly gain a foothold and occupy your heart; slowly pushing out the spirit of God from your heart and replacing the fruit of God’s spirit with its own fruits.

Anger in and of itself is not a bad thing, it has its good side too. It can be a very potent motivator but when we allow it to take control of us it becomes an inhibitor. That is why God admonishes in Ephesians 4:26-27, “In your anger do not sin; Do not let the sun go down while you are  still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Anger should run its course for a short period of time and then the issue must be resolved so the devil does not use that anger as a gateway into your heart.

So, what should we do when the time limit of anger is reached and the feeling of anger still persists? 1 Sam 15:11  gives us a clue: “Samuel was angry, and he cried out to the LORD all that night”. He recognized God’s sovereignty over everything and turned over the situation to God in prayer but he did not stop there. we read in verse 12 that he rose up early in the morning to confront King Saul (the object of his anger). After praying, Samuel took  tangible steps towards resolution.

 So, I asked God, “now that I am stuck in this funk of being angry all the time, how do I get out of it?” A good starting place is Psalm 51 (particularly verses 10-12):

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Confess the anger to God and ask for a renewal of His spirit in your heart. The spirit of God will illuminate the areas where anger has brought darkness and restore joy back into your life. God’s spirit will continue His work of restoration and renewal by manifesting His fruit in your heart. You will experience more love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:22-23) in your life and the anger that has taken root will slowly start to dissipate. You will find that you will become more forgiving and will start to become more oblivious to why you were angry, allowing you to let go of any ill-feelings towards others. The fruit of the Holy Spirit will help you deal with anger at its very roots: the more love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control you have, the less angry you will become at people and circumstances. And one day, you will wake up and realize you are not angry anymore. This will take some work and a willing heart. That is why God admonishes us with these words:

“… walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these… Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit” (emphasis mine).

Galatians 5:16-21; 25 KJV

Keeping in step with God’s Spirit  is a daily affair. God’s spirit will help us know when to be angry and when to let go. The Holy spirit will help us set limits and healthy boundaries for our anger. His work is to ensure that our lives reflect Jesus Christ and if anyone knows when to be angry and when to relent, we have an example in God through the pages of Scripture. What those limits and boundaries are will vary for each individual and each circumstance but the constant will be that  it will be spirit-led!

I would like to conclude with a prayer for more of God’s grace to be even-tempered and spirit-filled. Here is a compilation of some scriptures that caution against anger for your reading pleasure https://www.bible.com/search/bible?query=anger

Yours Truly

Posted on by intentional4christ

Religion vs Relationship

So two weeks ago, I had a conversation with my pastor that started with the statement “I am very angry with God”. And after about a 15- 20 minute rant about why I was angry, she prayed with me and I went on my rather morose way! And for the past two weeks I have been thinking, “well I put that out there, God and so now its your move” and for the past two weeks I have been wondering how both God and I will get past my confession and back into relationship. Yesterday as I was getting ready for church, I heard a sermon playing on the TV from a preacher I had never heard before and he started by saying, “people are the angriest they have ever been” and that piqued my interest and then God in his special way managed to speak to me through all my anger. So here is what I learned:

  • Lesson #1- Look underneath the anger
    • The preacher in a very dramatic reenactment described Naaman’s journey to healing from leprosy (2 Kings 5:1-8:15) . When Elisha had asked Naaman to get cleansed in the Jordan river his immediate reaction was anger. One would think that for someone who had travelled all the way for healing, he would have been more excited that he did not have to do something so arduous but no…Naaman turned away in anger. Now Naaman was a highly regarded and valiant soldier, a man’s man and his current state was a far cry from the success he had achieved in life. There was a great chasm between what Naaman’s expectations of the life of valiant soldier should look like and his current experience. And this chasm was filled with anger and rage. As the preacher said, success has a way of sedating us to think that we do not deserve any form of suffering and perhaps this was the state of mind of Naaman who expressed anger at the instructions to go and wash in the Jordan river. Two weeks ago, in unburdening about why I was so angry with God, I had shared with my pastor how I felt God could not be trusted. I was angry because I have spent a greater part of my life in service to God in one way or another and did not feel that God was treating me fairly with the adversity and unanswered prayers I have recently encountered. And guess what? I am not alone! Many Christians are asking God questions like, “why did I lose my loved one?” “why did I get Covid?” “why did you not prevent my marriage from falling apart?” “why didn’t the healing come when I prayed?”… and so on and so forth. As the preacher said so astutely, our everyday success has a way of sedating us into thinking that we do not deserve our suffering and the truth of that statement hit me hard. I have asked myself if my whole relationship with God had been built on the notion of reciprocity – that because of the things I have done in service of God that somehow I deserve God to give me everything I ask for. Two weeks ago, my pastor suggested that I reflect on what I have anchored my faith to- whether my faith and trust in God was tethered to the fact that my whole family has been serving Him faithfully and so felt like God owed us something for our service. I have spent the past few weeks thinking about this and have uncovered something really valuable which I share in lesson #2.
  • Lesson #2- What is your faith anchored to?
    • In exploring why I have been so angry, I have ruminated on what my trust is anchored in and came to the conclusion that my pastor was on to something. Over the years, I have built my faith and trust in Jesus based on the things He has done for me. The answered prayers for provision and providence, the many times of deliverance from accidents and ill health, the times I have experienced God’s grace have served to increase and grow my faith in God and in His abilities. However, my faith has not been anchored to more than that. For example, instead of building my faith around the fact that God is a healer which is His character, His essence, I have built faith around his acts of healing- so not on who He is, but what He does. And while God’s many acts helps to build faith, anchoring my faith on His actions alone is not a sustainable way to develop trust in a relationship. So in keeping with this example, during those times when God chooses not to heal me or my loved ones, my faith gets shaken because there is a gap between my expectations and my experience. In reality, whether or not God chooses to heal in a particular instance does not, and should not change the fact that He is a healer. In many ways, I have become like the Israelites of old who sought God for his mighty acts and so that was all God was to them. However, this was not the case with Moses. Even though Moses got introduced to God through his acts (the burning bush), he grew in relationship to the point where he knew God and communed with Him as friend with friend not because of what God could do, but because of who he is. Think about this:

He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel (Psalm 103:7 NLT).

Psalm 103:7 NLT

So through all my anger, God managed to reach at the crux of what was bothering me and not only that, He has brought me into a place of deeper relationship with Him- just like He did for Naaman. When God got through to Naaman past all his anger, He not only brought healing to the leprosy but also healed his heart. This year I have experienced new dimensions of God and I find that the more I lean into it, the more it feels like my life is falling apart. And the more my life falls apart, the more it falls into place. So before I sign off, I leave you with this thought: Religion says God I did this so now it is your turn to do that but Relationship says God I trust you. so which one do you have? Religion or Relationship?

Yours Truly

P.s. here is the sermon I listened to: https://elevationchurch.org/sermons/the-cost-of-going-off/